It's Just Not Cricket!

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It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Sarah on Thu Sep 18, 2008 6:43 am

I figured some people might like to talk about Cricket seeing as the summer is fast approaching...

For my contribution, something i grabbed off another forum - All Time Greatest Cricket Sledges.

thanks to CRSN @ http://listverse.com/forums/ Smile

Rod Marsh & Ian Botham:
When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words:
"So how's your wife & my kids?" the reply from Botham was "my wife's fine, your kids are retarded".

Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him.
"Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes):
"Hey Eddo, why are you so fucking fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because every time I fuck your mother, she throws me a biscuit."

Robin Smith & Merv Hughes:
During 1989 Lords Test, Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed: "You can't fucking bat."
Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't fucking bat & you can't fucking bowl.

Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad:
During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor.
A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed. "Tickets please," Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

Merv Hughes & Viv Richards:
During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries.
"This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl."
Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say fuck off."

Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga:
And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one-dayer in Sydney: "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat cunt!"

James Ormond & Mark Waugh
Ormand had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh.
Mark Waugh: "Fuck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England."
James Ormond: "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."

Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan
McGrath to Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever fucking mention my wife again, I'll fucking rip your fucking throat out!"

Mark Waugh & Adam Parore
Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball.
Mark: "Oh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then, you're fucking useless now."
Parore (turning around): "Yeah, that's me. And when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut.
And now I hear you've married her, you dumb cunt!"

Ian Healy & Arjuna Ranatunga
Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim.
Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

Ravi Shastri vs the Aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want to slander anyone)
Shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single.
This guy gets the ball in and says, "If you leave the crease I'll break your fucking head."
Shastri: "If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the fucking 12th man."

Malcolm Marshall & David Boon
Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times.
Marshall: "Now, David, are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

Fred Trueman & Raman Subba Row
Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs.
Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly
"I should've kept my legs together, Fred."
"So should your mother," he replied

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"All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring"
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Jake on Thu Sep 18, 2008 12:40 pm

nothing beats a cold brewskie on a hot day, relaxing watching the cricket!
who actually wants to go this year...or next?
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Stoo on Thu Sep 18, 2008 5:30 pm

Fuck yeah I'm in!
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Daneo on Thu Sep 18, 2008 7:25 pm

yeah we should hit up a one dayer at the G' fuck it will be awesome
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Sarah on Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:22 am

i'm in!

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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Jake on Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:12 am

i would have loved to go to the Boxing day match....fucking Torquey

WOOOOO were going to the BEACH *hand thingy*
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Daneo on Fri Sep 19, 2008 8:39 pm

yeah tests can get relatively boring if ur not witha crazy group......one dayer or 20/20 would be awesome im sure there will be plenty over the summer to rock out......
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Big Red on Fri Sep 19, 2008 9:09 pm

im fan a of 20/20, probally cause there is more action and i have a short attension span (hey look, a blue car!)
but having said that you need more skill in test cricket. like jimmy told me yesturday, in 20/20 you have to be good for 1 day. in test cricket, you got to be good for 4. (its 4,yea? Suspect )

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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Daneo on Fri Sep 19, 2008 10:20 pm

yeah well when australia play its usually 3 days and rarely goes for four.....we pretty much wipe the floor with everyone lol
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Stoo on Sat Sep 20, 2008 5:09 pm

We're good like that.
The best thing about the drought.. No rained out test matches!
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  The Sand Trout on Fri Oct 17, 2008 3:16 pm

you know what if i can hear them talk like that all day IM IN HANDS DOWN lol
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Daneo on Mon Oct 20, 2008 12:44 pm

Daneo wrote:yeah well when australia play its usually 3 days and rarely goes for four.....we pretty much wipe the floor with everyone lol
or the other way around as we are being totally dominated by india ATM
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  Jake on Mon Oct 20, 2008 1:21 pm

True Australia is being pummeled by the bastards!!!! Our bowlers are shit and our batsman are getting bowled
no chance in hell at winning Sad
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

Post  hey its that bar guy on Fri Oct 31, 2008 11:06 am

or the other way around as we are being totally dominated by india ATM[/quote]

was just goign to mention that..
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Re: It's Just Not Cricket!

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