Monopoly....The Movie???

"It has been announced that Ridley Scott will be assuming the director's chair for an upcoming film version of the famous board game Monopoly. Scott apparently plans to give the film a futuristic-type feel similar to his 1982 masterpiece Blade Runner.

If this sounds surreal, it is also worth noting that Universal has already lined up a number of similar projects for a long-term development deal. Ouija Board, Battleship, and Trivial Pursuit are all set to be developed similarly into feature films. (This in NOT a joke.)"

So Hollywood, in the spirit of the new trend, here are my suggestions for new projects:

Hungry Hungry Hippos - In Africa, scientists lose control of genetically altered Hippopotamuses as they run rampant with an insatiable hunger, destroying everything. Inexplicably, they end up in a huge showdown in New York where effects display tons of buildings and cars getting destroyed. Then there's one "good" Hippo that comes out who's "Earth's last hope," and a generic, young, good-looking hero must make a choice amid gratuitous CGI carnage. Michael Bay to direct.

Operation - A struggling Med School student is inexplicably kidnapped and taken by Malaysian Pirates where he is forced into a deadly underground tournament circuit where the goal of the game is to remove a randomly inserted foreign object from kidnapped American tourists. While the winner becomes Emperor of Asia, the loser gets violated with a pole wrapped in barb-wire.

Connect Four - In the year 2579, Colonel Rogers Picard-Buck must lead his fighter squadron in a hopeless attack on the seemingly invincible factories of evil aliens from the planet "Sneaky, Sis." However, a new weapon has been developed to break their defenses in the form of an innovative new explosive technology that fits perfectly into the cells of their lairs. The catch? In order for them to activate, FOUR of them must be dropped in a row, vertically, horizontally, or diagonally!

Now that's ideas you can take to the bank!